Wanted: God

I recently went to visit a temple after a long long time. I used to go there everyday about a coupla years bak.
Me and Naveen a very close friend of mine. Not just to pray but also to look at the gud lookin mallu girls who used to come there frequently :) yea God wasnt reason enuf for me to visit the place. In fact i never even thot why i go to temples. u see i am not an aethist. but i am also not the kind of guy who wil blame all things good or bad on God. Then why do we believe in God?? Do we really need to acknowledge the presence of the almighty??
I certainly feel the need to do so. I simply cant accept that the universe is just a mix of Physics and Chemical reactions. That our existence is just a scientific incident taught in some chapter in high school science books. Accepted there is beauty in knowing that as well.
I want to believe that there exists an Almighty who is actually responsible for all of this. This way things seem so much better.
Also this is something which can teach people humility. That we are so minute in the larger being that is the universe.

Loving Someone to Death

This is just something i read in the paper the other day. I seriously dont know how you might think of such a story. Foolishness, Crazy, !!@#$, etc. But, I must say i was touched.. really touched. This seems to be something that is lost on the world.
It started as a note to my wife. And then i thought that since some of you might have husbands or wives and might feel the same way. I'd pass it along. I don't own this story anyway. Charles Boyer does.
Remember Charles Boyer? Suave, dapper, handsome, graceful. Lover of the most famous and beautiful ladies of the silver screen. That was on camera and in the fan magazines.In real life, it was different.
There was only one woman. For 44 years. His wife, Patricia. Friends said it was a lifelong love affair. Soulmates. They were no less lovers and friends and companions after 44 yers than after the first year.
Then Patricia developed cancer of the liver. And though the doctors told Charles, he could not bear to tell her. And so he sat by her bedside to provide hope and cheer. Day and night for six months. He could not change the inevitable. Nobody could. And Patricia died in his arms. Two days later, Charles Boyer was also dead. By his own hand. He said he did not want to live without her.
He said, "Her love was life to me."
This was no movie. As I said, it's the real story --- Charles Boyer's story.
It is not for me to pass judgement on how he handled his grief. But it is for me to say that i am touched and comforted in a strange way. Touched by the depth of love behind the apparent sham of Hollywood love life. Comforted to know that a man and woman can love each other that much that long.
I don't know how I would handle my grief in similar circumstances. I pray I shall never have to stand in his shoes. But there are moments when i look across the room --- amid the daily ordinariness of life --- and see the person I call my wife and friend and companion. And i understand why Charles Boyer did what he did. It really is possible to love someone that much, I know. I'm certain of it.

--- Excerpted from All I really Need to Know I Learnt in Kindergarten published by Ballantine Books, New York

Aaaarrrrgghhh!!!!! How do i do this??
Hmm.. after struggling with the dashboard and settings page of blogger i still m not able to figure out how to make all my posts appear in one page.. I give up!!!
i knew how to handle stuff like this like the back of my hand when i was a kid not too long ago..
nowadays i gotta read the manual to actually understand how to my new digicam works..
the same guy who put together his first video game machine when he was only 10 yrs old is now struggling to learn how his oven works..
is it just me whos not able to keep pace with technology or we live in a world which is just too overwhelming..
lets c .. if anybody out there knows how to make all the posts appear in one page just help me out
puhleeezzzzeeeee.

"Deja Vu"

Hey Whats this..!!! Do i see myself writing a blog..! Fuk i knew this was gonna happen!
Have u ever felt that the life you are living is just a pre-recorded movie that somebody in the heavens just plays. What if u get top see YOUR movie before it is actually played? You may not remember the whole movie but, you will have those bits and pieces of it coming back to you. Which pieces and when is beyond ur control. When u do get a flash in ur mind and u hear urself sayin "Fuck Dude! I knew this was gonnna happen. I swear!!" what you have just experienced right now my friend is a sense of 'Deja vu'.
You go about your usual routine life. you wake up, get ready, take the bus, go to work, back

home in the evening. when all of a sudden you look, hear n feel around you? You can predict the entire conversation that ur friend is carrying out with you. you can predict what hes gonna say and how you are going to react. But how is this possible?At that moment you aretoo perplexed, petrified even to say anything. After you regain composure and you tell ur friend what you felt only for him to snap back at you with a "Yea RITE!! Better start those medications again Punk!!"
I have never been able to explain these phenomenon that keeps happening to me. But when I do find people who have experienced the same things as this a part of me breaks knowing that i I m not the unique person who experiences this.

Hey!!! Havent u read this blog Before. I knew you were gonna read it.. and then welcome the comment that you are about to write.

Hmmm.... I Resolve??

m posting after a long long time inspite of making a resolution that m gonna write to my self everyday..!!
I dunno why i make such resolutions.. i know i am too lazy to keep up with them..
probably i should make a resolution not to make one.. :)
But why are resolutions so hard to keep?
When something becomes a habit you do it everyday? but when u resolve to make something a habit. u just can stick to it?
I guess you usually think of doin something when that is something you dont like doing..
but nowadays i find myself having to make a resolve to read a book, visit my friends, play something, watch a movie.. things which i really like to do.
I get rather annoyed that m unable to do all these things nowadays.